I Had His Body…. She Had His Heart

I just knew that me and this man were going to be together FOREVER (give me a break I was only 20). He was my Prince Charming my first real relationship as an adult. We talked about everything we spent every minute that we could together, and even then it seemed like we didn’t have enough time together. Our relationship grew so fast and I wasn’t going to let anything mess that up. We would sometimes talk about our past relationships, but he usually only talked about this one woman, because she was his first real relationship. They were both military so deployment broke them up. Shit, I didn’t care all I could think about was her loss my gain. I knew that she had ended the relationship and he expressed that it had hurt him. I honestly thought she was out of the picture.

Until the day he came home from work and I could feel that his vibe was off. I kept asking him if something was wrong and he would just node his head implying that nothing was wrong. I started to get nervous, because he didn’t eat dinner he just went and got in the bed after he showered. I got in bed and he was still wide awake. I asked him one last time if something was wrong and he took a deep breath looking up at the ceiling and he said the woman’s name and expressed he still loved her and he was in love with her. He said he cared for me but his heart wanted her. I was crying before I realized I was crying. I had his body, but she had his heart. I couldn’t argue with that all I could do was cry (understand I should have gotten an Oscar for that cry).

I didn’t really learn a lesson from that experience except you can have someone laying right next to you and that person wants to be somewhere else totally and completely. I just wish he would have told me that before I had purchased his birthday gift. But ladies understand it’s not where he is at it’s where he wants to be. And the heart doesn’t lie.

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