Thankfully I learned this lesson a long time ago, but I was old enough to receive the lesson completely. I hate when women give advice that is not volunteered and say phrases like, “girl what you won’t do for your man another woman will.” And if that happens he will be by himself or with that women, because I’m not about to sacrifice my truth to make sure he stays in place. I understand that this is a “man’s world”, however we tend to forget that it would be nothing without a “woman or a girl”.
Anyway, I once had this soft spot for “street dudes” (something about the hustle and the swag) that are smart, and always on their grind. I finally gave in to one and he was breathtaking in every aspect, however I bombarded with the reality of wanting to be in a relationship with a “street dude” and being in one for real was definitely nothing I would have signed up for if I knew the real story (I caught on quick. Where there is a man with money and don’t let him look like a Greek god on top of that, there is a flock of thirsty chicks that could careless if he has a lady at home. Money doesn’t impress me bring me home a 9 point buck and I’ll marry you (a buck is a deer). I knew that he wanted more than the streets and as a PROUD country woman I totally understood and I hated the city because everything moves so fast, but with him no matter how much money he was bringing in it was never enough.
His best friend who I ignored majority of the time, I would call them Bo and Luke Duke, (Dukes of Hazzards) all the time and I ignored him majority of the time, so him being at our house or even crashing on the couch had become a normal thing. After awhile my boyfriend started coming home later than usual, if he even came home at all (he would be gone for days at a time. He would always send his best friend to stop by every day to “check” on me, (red flag he was making sure I wasn’t doing to him what he was doing to me). He would peek his head in the door and ask, “you cool?”, I’d answer “yes” he would go in the kitchen and grab a snack and leave. I didn’t question anything about my man. So, one night I was watching an amazing movie on Lifetime, and my man’s best friend walked in, but this time he came in the living room and sat down next to me. I was annoyed because the movie was really good and I had to be to work early the next morning, so I didn’t feel like entertaining company.
My man’s best friend sat back and I could tell he had something on his mind, but again the movie was really good. He looked at me and said, “some men would rather chase what’s in the street, than appreciate what they have at home.” I didn’t say anything, because he had just said every thing I needed to know without snitching on his friend, who was my man. All I could do was respect that because I knew that it took a lot for him to just say that. He did finish the movie with me (thugs love a good Lifetime movie too). I walked him to the door and said, “you cool?”, and he answered “yes”. I smiled and hugged him so tight and he hugged me just as tight, because we both knew by sunrise I would be gone. My man’s best friend knew I deserved better, and he could have taken advantage of me because I was in a vulnerable spot, but I was his best friend’s lady (that’s some bootleg loyalty). Birds of a feather flock together, so I knew without a doubt he wasn’t being the best man he could be, but I also knew why she was with him the money so she could handle that life. That life was tearing me apart.
My man’s best friend didn’t tell me anything that I didn’t know, but his words took the blinders off I may have been naïve about the situation but I wasn’t dumb. And by sunrise I was gone. My man’s best friend something like the rest of them. And I will always be grateful for him.