I Left the Door Unlocked

He promised me that he would come home as soon as he was done working, I noticed that he left his house key on the kitchen counter, so I left the door unlocked. He left with a kiss on the forehead as he always did… The first night that he didn’t come home I was worried, but his type of job didn’t really have set hours. I’m not the type person to call and call, I’ve always been the type of person to think no news is good news. I also wasn’t worried because we lived together, he had to come home eventually…. Right? After the third night of sleeping alone I called his phone (yes, I waited that long) and the call didn’t come through so I called, and again no answer. I called a few of his family members. I almost laughed at how they couldn’t lie even over the phone (even in panic my sense of humor always gets the best of me).

They knew exactly where he was and at that point, I understood that he had left me. I picked up his key that was still laying on the kitchen counter where he had left it, pissed because I had engraved on it (I’m extra) and slammed it back down. How could he just leave like that? what did I do? hell, what did I do for him to just leave like that? Through all the anger and heartache I still loved him without question, so I kept the door unlocked hoping and praying that he would come back.

I would always say he had me waiting, but in reality I had myself waiting for something that would never happen. I left his clothes and belongings at our place for a year, because I knew that eventually back. After a year I put all of his things in storage just in case he needed it. Call me stupid, but even after placing his things in storage, I still left the door unlocked.  That door stayed unlocked for almost two years and then finally while at work I received a phone call and it was him. I could barely breathe, just from the sound of his voice. For two years, I refused to get involved with anyone and get serious, because I knew that when he decided to come back I was going to be there. When I was able to talk, all I could say was, “I left the door unlocked for you”. Then he became silent and when he did talk this coward explained that he had cheated on me and from that he got another woman pregnant and he knew telling me would break my heart (like disappearing made it better).

Blinders were off of my eyes and my heart and back then my pride was at an all time high. he also informed me that he had just proposed to the woman and he wanted to tell me before I heard for someone else (how thoughtful). After two years I had cried enough tears to last a lifetime so I was in straight “you got me fucked up mode”. I congratulated on the baby and wished him the best of luck with the whole marriage thing (I meant that). Long story short my closest friends and I had a bonfire using his belongings. And it was the most beautiful fire I had ever seen.

When I finally got home that night I let a few tear drops fall and when I closed the door behind me after two years I locked that DAMN door.

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