It’s all sunshine and roses, until the same hand that he used to caress your body, starts caressing your body in a different kind of way and that new way hurts. I never understood the whole concept of being in a physically abusive relationship….. until of course I found myself in one. Let me make this clear not all women that are in physically abusive relationships are weak, like how the movies portray or even your neighbor down the road who covers her black eyes with make up. Everyone has a reason for staying, but I didn’t have a reason to stay so I got out. I never saw my father hit my mother, so best believe I didn’t take kindly to a man putting his hands on me.
It started with the arm grabs if he thought that I had done something wrong his eyes (like he made some commandments, that he never gave them to me). I would let him know to ease up, and he would, however that darkness in him would show back up occasionally. He liked to drink, so make a long story short he hit me, (just as surprised as you) the crazy part about it he was smiling about it. Understand, you only have to hit me once to know that it’s time for me to go, plus you smiling. His smile faded when he saw me smiling…… because I was raised with these things called brothers, and no I didn’t call my brothers I didn’t have to, they raised me to learn how to protect myself. My smile wasn’t because I knew I was about to turn in to this boy’s worst nightmare, my smile was for all the women he had probably done this to before and the tears they shed, and the warnings they had given me, that I thought was just jealousy of him having this behavior.
He showed signs I just chose to ignore them. My smile let him know that either he was going to beat my ass or I was going to beat his. Calling for help wasn’t an option, because most men that beat women are scared of men. He won the fight, but he didn’t win me and he knew that I had been there. I’m not saying fighting back is always the way. But getting out is the point, get that stupid shit in your head about he beats me, because he just doesn’t know how to control his anger, he is under a lot of stress, he loves me but he just doesn’t know how to show it…..etc….. And all those other excuses. An abuser in any form is just that a n abuser a piece of shit. and stop trying to fix them. He hit me and that was enough for me….. physical pain. But hey stay if you want ain’t enough make-up in the world that can cover the internal scars you will carry with you for the rest of your life. My advice fight back and leave a mark then or just leave. He hit me….. and I tried to bash his brain in.