Out Of Time

The thing is I thought we were perfect for each other, but turns out I was in love with the friendship and made the mistake in thinking we should take things further. It happens like that sometimes, you meet a person and fall in love with their personality which enhances the looks and the romantic attraction starts to kick in. In my experience, that is when things get complicated. I’m a jump the gun type of chick, I can get hung up really quick and then lose interest when the relationship portion starts. I can want someone to be “the one” and lose sight of how influential the friendship was. However, when you cross that line of friendship into relationship there can be some resentment if you are vocal about wanting to be just friends. Now, you aren’t just dealing with your emotions, but the emotions of someone else as well. In my experience even though I know that the end result is losing that person I fall for it every time LOL. Life would have been completely great with the dudes that I make this mistake with, because the friendship is never the same. Then there was this one dude that I fell for hard in the friendship and I did not want to make that up so I took logic over love and didn’t jump the gun. And I fell head over heels in love with our friendship, because it was like a relationship without a title and no sexual contact. He was the man of my dreams, but he was taken so that was the other thing. When we realized that we had both messed up by just becoming emotionally attached we ended the friendship. He was the one that I wanted the most and the one that I still think about daily, however I don’t play like that. Him not being around opened up another part of my creativity and my thought process which has helped me go for things I never thought that I would I’m grateful for him and our short-lived, powerful friendship. The one that I wanted the most is the one that I’m best without. I fell in love with a friendship that helped me to fall in love with myself….. that’s crazy!

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